


I'm leaving it behind

by LovelyDollParis



Category: Fire Emblem, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-02 20:50:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10952496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyDollParis/pseuds/LovelyDollParis
Summary: The time's come to return to Ylisse.





	1. Chapter 1

Dread. Dread filled Selena. She WAS on her way to say goodbye to Camilla. It'd be a miracle if she wasn't chained up in Camilla's dungeon for all time. Well, that's what Selena was trying thinking about in an attempt to avoid remembering that she's leaving all sorts of people behind. One person in particular was constantly on her mind. She'd like to continue imagining over-exaggerated reactions by her Lady but she couldn't stop thinking about her goodbye to Beruka.

Selena had decided to get Beruka an axe on a whim, while in town. A plain and large axe just waiting to be decorated. She and Arthur had spent hours working on it in the smithy. Arthur was always willing to help without asking questions Selena didn't want to deal with. Fortunately, Arthur never screwed anything up bad enough that the axe was ruined. He mostly just broke a few of his fingers and lit Selena's boots on fire. Normally, Arthur wouldn't have JUST ruined her boots, he'd have been dead less than a minute later. However, Selena's priorities were elsewhere.

The axe had Beruka's name written on it based off Selena's handwriting and was decorated with patterns common to an axe from Ylisse. She hoped this would subtly help to remind Beruka of her. Though, she questioned whether or not these subtle suggestions where OK. Selena tried to avoid playing mind games with people she was close to. She learned it can seriously hurt the relationship. 

Selena, despite internal doubts about the morality as well as the quality of the gift, was excited to show her fellow retainer.

"Beruka?" Selena had poked her head inside the assassins tent while she was polishing Camilla's axe.

"Hello, Selena. It is nice to see you." Camilla convinced Beruka to add more emotion to her greetings, so Beruka has been adding to her usual hello and Selena always loved hearing the simple "It is nice to see you." She knew Beruka meant it and never said the same thing for anyone else. "What do you need?"

"I, uh, need to talk to you. I made you this." She slid the axe into the tent with her and tried not to make too big a deal out of it. Beruka stood, took the axe and sat down again staring at the design. She seemed very fascinated by it and took off one of her gloves to slowly feel the design.

"So?! ...What do you think?"

"...It's impractical. I can't move this around nearly as well as the other axes. It's off balance and the ruff carvings will make it difficult to slice with."

"Well. I'm sorry you don't like it."

"I like it."

"Oh. I mean, of course you would. I made it."

"I can tell. How did you carve so similarly to the way you write."

"You actually recognize my writing? I guess you ARE one to notice things like that."

"...Why?"

"Why? Oh right! It's, uh... a goodbye present... so you remember me. I was hoping you'd actually use the axe regularly but I guess stroking it works."

"Goodbye... This is a permanent goodbye, is it not?"

"Yeah, Beruka. It is. I'm leaving tomorrow... for good."

"Goodbye, then. I wish you well, Selena."

"Uh, yeah. I wish you well too, Beruka." After a moment of smiling sadly at each other, Selena figured she should go. She couldn't think of anything else she had to do with Beruka but she really tried to. It's left the red head feeling empty. She knew that the goodbyes would but saying goodbye to Beruka really made her feel she was lacking something.

Selena couldn't stop going over the event and trying to analyze every detail but of course, with Beruka, there wasn't a lot to analyze. Beruka didn't give hints. She either made something clear or didn't express it at all and Selena knew Beruka understood all hints the mercenary may have dropped. Beruka was surprisingly adept at knowing what Selena meant. She was still bad with emotions but she had been around Selena long enough to start recognizing everything she means.

Beruka really did understand Selena. Beruka had trouble empathizing but always seemed to know Selena's thoughts. She often picked up on something specific Selena'd be going through when others could only sense something was wrong. Selena eventually stopped denying her problems to Beruka, since she always knew. Selena even started coming to Beruka when things were rough. The street orphan wasn't able to help more than other people could've but Selena only wanted help from Beruka and Selena seemed to be the one Beruka came to as well. Almost everyone tried reaching out to Beruka at one point or another but few ever helped her in any way. The orphan from the future, however, was able to help Beruka realize a number of things about herself. Selena thought about all this and what everything meant until coming to the wyvern stable where Camilla was.

"Oh boy, this will be fun... *sigh* I'm gonna fucking die to the giant lizard of a crying woman."


	2. Chapter 2

"Aunt Selena!"

"Ack! Soleil! Don't yell like that."

"Sorry. We're leaving soon, though. Are you almost finished packing?"

"Yeah, almost."

"Well, hurry. We're all waiting." With that, Soleil slipped out of Selena's tent. After her heart calmed down, Selena continued going through her things at her own pace, disregarding Soleil. Though, she decided to look through her trunk from the other side, facing the tent "door". Selena had too many things to take with her. 

For perhaps the first time, she considered whether she should have gone on so many shopping trips. In the end, she didn't regret it. Maybe she would have fewer things to say goodbye to but she went on those trips with her friends and the trips helped build their relationships.

Selena got what she needed all sorted out shortly after Soleil's visit and went to the clearing in the woods designated as their exit. Everyone had clearly been waiting for Selena.

"Ah, the fair crimson warrior has at last joined the small band of..."

"'At last'?! You couldn't have been waiting for more than fifteen minutes! Are you all seriously THAT impatient!?"

"We're all just excited and it has actually been forty five minutes."

"Well, you somehow survived."

"You ARE ready to go, right?"

"...Y-yeah, sure."

Ophelia and Soleil squealed as Laslow unwrapped the orb that was to take them home. It wasn't made clear how they were to use it but it was assumed they would have to just touch it, so they all piled their hands on it and it began to glow and the world around them became distorted and the pale blue light grew brighter, completely enveloping Selena's vision. The light suddenly vanished and the orb was no longer under her hand.

Selena had trouble seeing her surroundings after the bright light but she could tell it was dark out. The shapes she could make out became more and more defined, until she realized she was in a fairly crowded street between buildings and stalls. With no idea where she was, she looked around for someone she knew but was unable to locate anyone. After a moment Selena noticed a large person, at least 6 foot six, crouching along the side of the street. She looked at them from behind and couldn't see what they were doing nor could she tell much about their appearance hidden behind their trench coat. 

After a brief moment they stood and walked away revealing a pot hole in the ground. Selena walked over to the hole and as she looked down in it she found a young, turquoise haired child, not big enough to even walk. Selena quickly brought her into her arms and looked to where that castle of a person had gone but they had somehow vanished. Looking back at the child, the woman could clearly see she was starving. She immediately strode to the nearest vending stand but someone bumped into her, knocking the girl out of her arms and onto the ground. Selena quickly tried to get to her but was being pushed and pulled away by the growing crowd around her. They enveloped Selena's vision, so that she could no longer see the child but she soon heard a familiar, quiet voice call out "Selena!"

She bolted upright, out of breath and covered in sweat. Selena was on the floor of her tent with her half packed luggage. She quietly got up and began collecting the things she had discarded to leave behind.


	3. Chapter 3

Go back to an empty home, live with friends in a place that's someone else's home, or build a home with the woman you love. Those were Selena's options as she saw them. Although taking a shot at living with Beruka may not work out and would cost an Owain blubbering about their parting, it was well worth it in the mercenary's eyes.

Selena came to the stables where Subaki said Beruka was. She stopped at the entrance for a few minutes to calm her nerves as much as she could. When she came in, Beruka was just coming out. They meet together right at the door, surprise clearly visible on Beruka's face. Truly, a rare sight.

"Selena! You haven't left yet?"

It was the morning of the first day after Selena had left. At least, Beruka had thought it was.

"I haven't and I decided I'll never leave."

"Oh. I am relieved to her that for a number of reasons."

"Such as...?"

"Lady Camilla won't need to look for a new retainer, I can give you a gift I intended as a going away present that was delayed, and I would have miss having you around. You are one of the only people I feel comfortable around. I... enjoy your presence. I only want to talk when it's with you. You're the only one I can trust enough to completely let my guard down. Does this make sense?"

Selena only nodded, unable to talk without the lump in her throat being made apparent to the assassin. She knew she was about to start crying and she didn't really know what to say nor did she really want to say something. She suddenly remembered a present being mentioned.

"Gi-gift?"

"Yes. I know you're interested in fashions, so I arranged to receive some highly impractical Hoshidan robes that are said to be symbols of friendship. I didn't much care for them but I thought you would enjoy them."

"Yeah. Yeah, I definitely would."

"They should be delivered tomorrow. I hope you will be pleased."

"You aren't excited about your robe?"

"On the contrary, I would sincerely enjoy a symbol of our friendship. It... means a lot to me."

"It means a lot to me too, Beruka. Though, I'm not sure if the robes will be appropriate tomorrow."

"Why wouldn't they be?"

"Because I want a closer relationship with you."

"Closer? In what way?"

"Every way! You are the most important person to me! I want to be with you day and night. I want to help you. I want you to rely on me. I want to make you as happy as possible and if you will let me try, I will do my absolute best. ...I love you, Beruka!"

"I... I think... I'm happy to hear that. I can't stop smiling. My whole body feels numb but I don't mind. ...Is this how you feel?"

"Yes. That's happiness. Intense happiness. Think about this carefully, Beruka. Do you love me? Do you want us to be together always? As much as I want to, I can't tell you what your answers are to these."

"Yes. I feel comfortable saying I do love you, Selena and I'm sure I couldn't have taken you being gone."

Selena was fully crying now and for the first time in her memory, Beruka's eyes were watering as they joyously embraced. All worry of being without each other was gone. 

"I'm so glad to be with you, Selena. You make me feel in ways I never could have thought of."

"Get used to them. I'm going to be the best lover in the whole history of this planet. And... I was born with the name Severa. You should probably know that. Do you like Selena better?"

"I just like you. Your name matters not. I will love you and your name no matter what it may be."

"That's quite romantic, Beruka."

"Is it? I suppose I must attempt to learn to be romantic like that."

"I'll help you. I want us to sweep each other off of our feet again and again, every day."

"I will not fail you."

Selena and Beruka kissed for the first of many times in the grass outside the stable and, as they did, all the wyverns roared, loudly, and in unison but the two women barley noticed.


End file.
